An Open Letter To Those Who Struggle With Anxiety

I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. I believe the things that those of us that have suffered or still suffer from anxiety have in common is this: we are wonderful people with very much to offer. We have some of the biggest heats in the world. We believe that we can take on more than we can handle- but we do it with a smile because we want the world to perceive us as ‘being in control’. We want to make others happy even if that means sacrificing a little of our own happiness in the process. We are modest. We are incredibly creative and intelligent which can work to our disadvantage especially when it comes to our racing thoughts. All of these things are gifts that we posses. However, when we begin to experience such terrible symptoms is when we realise that maybe the wonderful things we thought we were doing were actually hindering us. We take, and we take and we take on the problems of the world, and carry it on our backs… and in our minds… and in our hearts. No wonder your mind races! No wonder your heart is pounding a mile a minute! Your body us telling you to wake up and realize that what you were doing before is not working. Something needs to change.We need to realize that we are not superheroes. We are human, and while we think we can make everyone in this life happy, the truth us we cannot. And that’s okay. You are allowed to say no without giving an explanation. You are allowed to take time for yourself without feeling guilty. Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do. Ask for help when you need it. You already posses the gifts, but instead of turning them inward- turn them outward and watch how your life changes right before your eyes.

Lay out what it is that’s causing your anxiety, I know it’s often easier said than done, but try and record when you feel most anxious and from that you can often work out what’s triggering your anxiety. If it’s a certain situation, hairdressers for example, try and think of something you can do immediately after said task, for instance you could say to yourself I’m going to eat some cake right after I’ve finished in the hairdressers. Then while you’re in a situation which usually would have been a huge anxiety trigger your mind is now preoccupied with something good, subconsciously it forces your brain to realise that said situation won’t last forever. Nothing last forever.

It’s a process, there is no magic piece of advice I can give you to make it all go away. I wish I could but I can’t. All I can say is it’s manageable. Little steps go a long way. Often the reason people don’t make the progress they would like is because they try and solve the main problem head on, when in actual fact there’s a list of things that cause the main problem. If you focus your time into solving those smaller tasks, the main problem will reduce to almost nothing. Don’t try and go straight in and do something that is a huge anxiety trigger to you, it will do more harm than good. Start off small, like eating healthily, sleeping well, taking time out for yourself. I can assure you that completing small goals like these will make a massive difference.

Nobody should settle with anxiety being a big part of their identity, it isn’t. Anxiety is not your life and it’s not who you are, it’s just a small part of you that doesn’t have to be so loud. Everyone has anxiety in varying levels and some of us are better at it than others. If you have anxiety, you CAN change how much it affects you. Don’t just settle, take steps to improving your life. It may take time, hard work and dedication but it’s worth it in the end. Also remember that you aren’t alone. You are not the only one on this planet feeling the way you do and although at times it can seem as though nobody understands, yourself included, there will be somebody or something that can help. Ultimately, though, only YOU can make the biggest difference by making that first, and often very terrifying first step.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates

Anxiety doesn’t define you, it is not you and you are not it. Do not let it stop you achieving your dreams, let it push you to achieve more. I believe that there is a reason people need to go through such an unpleasant experience. Perhaps it was to show you that you needed to take a step back and stop taking more on than you could handle. Perhaps it was so that one day you too could write a letter and potentially show at least one person that they too can get through this. Perhaps it was so you could see the essence of all worry comes down to either being too much in the future, or too much in the past. So please, if you are reading this and have been able to relate to any part of this letter I urge you to choose to use your fears to your advantage – use them to propel yourself forward. Manifest that energy into something that will take you where you need to go. Life is not meant to be walked through in constant fear and worry. We were meant to do great things, and each day on this earth is truly a blessing. Look for the positivity – the light – in the darkest of days. I promise you it’s there if you’re willing to look for it. You can make it through anything – one breath at a time.

13 Reasons Why I Hated ’13 Reasons Why’

Over the past couple of weeks ’13 reasons why’ has been hot topic, whether it’s over memes on facebook or conspiracy theories on twitter. It’s everywhere.

When I first heard about ’13 reasons why’ coming out at a Netflix series, I was excited. As someone who had read the book many years ago, the thought of it being brought to my screen excited me. I hoped that it would shine a light on mental health and educate people especially young on mental illness. However when the show was officially released I avoided watching it. Why? Because I knew there wasn’t going to be a happy ending, I had read the book and although the series did differ the main plot remained the same. Trying to avoid the show became harder as it was publicited over all social media and it was all people were talking about, I caved in and watched it.

Before I watched the actual show I watched ‘behind the reasons’, this urged me to watch the show as i felt as if the show itself would be educational and help those struggling with mental illness. Oh how wrong i was. 

This leads me to reason one, it isn’t educational. It’s a drama show designed to entertain not educate. The only time mental illness was actually mentioned was in the ‘behind the reasons’. At no other point on the show was the actual topic of mental illness itself brought up. 

Reason two, as important as the brutality was it was also very very triggering. This show left me among many others feeling extremely low. 

Reason three, the show has added to the trend. People who think it’s ‘cool’ to be mentally ill. The popularity of this show will only make it worse, which in effect will only silence those who are genuinely suffering.

Reason four, in the show Hannah opened up and told her school counsellor that she was not only raped but suicidal also. The counsellor didn’t help, didn’t offer her any support. This completely ruined the whole message of “speak out and get help” that the show tried to get across.

Reason five, it’s being talked about; wrongly. People are talking openly and with very strong opinions about the characters without realising the thousands of people who relate to each character. The characters are being talked about but not what the actual character represnts.

Reason six, it romantazises mental illness. There was a specific scene between clay and mr porter, where mr porter stated “you can’t love someone back to life”, to which clay replied “you can try”. This makes people believe that love is the answer to mental illness. 

Reason seven, at least 5 percent of youth suicide is influenced by cognigation. When a high profile celebrity commits suicide, suicide rates across the nation seem to rise. I believe the brutality and honestly will do more bad than good. 

Reason eight, mental health is real. Suicide is real. Depression is real. PTSD is real. 13 reasons why, de-ligitamizes the existence of these conditions by portraying Hannah’s death an inevitable consequence of the events that occurred to hannah. 

Reason nine, it became a drama show. A teen drama. Suicide is tragic. 13 reasons why turned the story into a entertaining mystery, they lost sight of the true meaning behind it.

Reason ten, the sterotypes. The jocks were bad, the sweet innocent guys were just that. The girls with the dark clothing and multiple piercings self harmed. The mean girls were mean. The sterotypes in this show infuriated me.

Reason eleven, the tapes themselves have made people believe that hannah is selfish, causing people to think suicide is selfish. As if suicide is only a reaction to other people’s actions which often isn’t the case. The tapes were vindictive and wrongly portrayed the reasons behind suicide.

Reason twelve, 13 reasons why, a show about ‘mental illness’ has turned into an inspiration for “memes”. Over all social media, jokes are being made about the show, loosing its true intention.

Reason thirteen, i hated that a show about teen suicide needed to be made. I hate that it’s that much of an issue that they felt the need to release a show surrounding the issue. I hate that the only way some people are actually educated on mental health is through this show, and oh how wrongly they will be informed.

’13 reasons why’ was done with good intentions, there are people out there who want to help. If you feel triggered by the show or feel like you’re alone, please get the help you deserve. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.

Samaritians – 116 123