I’ve always been somewhat an intro perspective individual. Always delving into my emotions and the reasoning behind them. Why I feel a certain way and what I can do about it. This is a bittersweet characteristic of mine. One that currently is tasting a little bit too bitter for my liking.
When they changed my diagnosis from Epilepsy to Non Epileptic Attack Disorder, I was overwhelmed with the realisation that our brains can be that powerful. As silly as it sounds I found it hard to comprehend our brains having that much control over us. When my diagnosis changed I had to dig deep and create healthier habits in my life and deal with what I’d been tripping over for so long. Overtime and a lot of hard work I was able to reach the 1 Year Seizure Free Mark just a few of months ago.
In the time I spent working on retraining my brain to handle different emotions and react differently, I really indulged myself into the power of the brain. This was one of the best things I ever did. However it will come back to bite you in the arse every so often.
What we think, we believe and it becomes our life. If you wake up and you’re already thinking today’s going to be a bad day, I can 99.9% guarantee you’re going to have a bad day, simply because you believe you will. Once you become aware of this and your subconscious thoughts, you can work out how to control and change them and you will be amazed by the benefits.
The above is great, being aware and in control of your thoughts and living a more positive life for it. However it can be a double blow when you do have a bad day. I’m aware that my thoughts control my life. Life’s a lot more about how you react rather than what happens. Recently I’ve felt a bit slumped, I’ve not been enjoying my job, very busy schedule with little time to myself and the minor factor of a global pandemic going on have contributed to just a shitty time. I’ve felt waves of anxiety and sadness and haven’t always been the most proactive about changing this.
I am aware I’ve had a few bad days. I am also aware it’s only myself who can change my mindset and break the cycle. You can sometimes be the villain in your own story as well as the hero. You have to try and be the hero as much as possible. But knowing what to do to make you happy and actually doing it, are two very different things. Often harder than it seems.
I hope you find the strength to break the cycle.
Delightfully Complex 