Love Yourself

The way you love yourself sets up the standard of how much others love you. When you understand your own self worth, you subconsciously start to realise what you deserve, you cut out those people who don’t value you or urge you to better yourself.

“Self love is the greatest middle finger of all time”

A very important person in my life helped me realise that all you ever have is yourself, you’re the only person that you will spend your entire life with, that concept has got to inspire and excite you rather than terrify you. You have to learn to love yourself and your own company, its then that things will start falling into place, and they will be the right things, they will help to better you and be a positive light. You will attract the good.

After break-ups people often feel ugly, unworthy and like half a person. They feel like this significant other made them; beautiful, worthy and whole. When in actual fact – they just showed you who you really are, they didn’t make you anything different, you already were everything you need.

Everybody waits, they wait for the perfect moment, for the perfect person but i promise you if you’re waiting; you’re never going to find it. If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror. I promise you that everything you need is within yourself. Everything you need; your courage, strength, compassion and love; everything you need is within you.

They say that life is a game, if that is the case, once you realise your own worth, the game changes.

The journey of self love is a long one, it’s hard and not a straight line. I also think it’s important to understand that self love/care isn’t always having a green smoothie before the gym, sometimes it’s dragging yourself out of bed to do that thing you really don’t want to do but will benefit you in the future, sometimes it’s allowing yourself to have a quick cry and then giving yourself the pep talk to move on, sometimes it’s cutting some ties no matter how precious they were, sometimes it’s the bitter medicine you need to give yourself. You’ll feel like giving up countless times and you’ll feel like you’re not making progress. But i promise you, you are. Every small victory will add up. Self care is looking out for future you, making every day easier than the last. Until one day you will wake up and truly understand how if you take the time to stop and look around the world is a magical place, and that we too, are part of it.

 

 

 

Mental Health

Life can be really shitty. So shitty, that the word shitty is the biggest understatement of the year. We all deal with this in different ways. If you are struggling to deal with what life throws at you, please read. I hope this helps.

Mental health. Everyone has it. Everyone has mental health, just as everyone has physical. So why are we so silent? Why are we so accepting of any body part breaking apart from out brain. Why is there such a stigma and automated response when the topic of mental health gets brought up.

I have tried to write this countless of times, each time deleting it once I pressed full stop. Why? Because I am scared. There’s such a stigma and you don’t realise how bad it is until you’re on the receiving end. Mental health isn’t something to be ashamed of. I stand by that previous sentence, and only when I deleted this post for the ninth time did I realise just how hypocritical I am being.  I am preaching about how we need to get mental health talked about, but I wont even explain why I feel so strongly about ending the stigma. Well, today is the day. So take a seat, grab a drink and listen, just listen.

I have no idea where to begin, or how to even word what I am about to say. For a large part of my life i’ve struggled with anxiety, and in a darker, lonelier time in my life; depression. Both of those words I cannot abide, and not for the reasons you may think. I don’t hate these words because of their meaning, no. I hate these words because of how people are so ignorant to their true meaning. These two words along with ‘bipolar’ and ‘OCD’ are health conditions, they are an illness, not an adjective to use when you like your room to be clean, or are having a bad day. Real people suffer these real illness. By using a health condition as a way to describe your day is silencing those who are truly suffering. I know it silenced me.

Whatever illness you are dealing with; mental or not. You are not it. And it is not you. It’s forever smaller than you, no matter how large it feels. It exists inside you, you do not exist inside it.

As crappy as mental illness is, and as horrible as it makes people feel. Good can come out of it. I wouldn’t be sat here writing a blog if it wasn’t for my mental illnesses. I wouldn’t have this great desire to help others if it wasn’t for my mental illnesses. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for my mental illnesses. This is not a cry for help. This isn’t me wanting your sympathy. This is me, talking about a part of my life. A part of my life I shouldn’t be ashamed of. I don’t want you to read this and feel sorry, or feel like I am attention seeking. I am writing this to show I am proof, that life goes on. Good can come out of the bad.

Clouds with silver linings are still clouds but it’s quite therapeutic to know, that pleasure doesn’t just compensate pain but grows from it – Matt Haig

I think it is important to know that you are not alone, no matter how much it may feel like you are. You may feel like you have nobody, like the whole world is against you. It’s not, I can promise you that. Yes, people can be horrible. However there are also people out there who just want to help, who care about others wellbeing and will do everything in their power to make sure you’re okay. So many people suffer in silence but there are people out there who want to help, if you only give them the chance too.

If you feel like you have nobody to talk, please don’t hesitate in contacting anyone listed below.

Childline
ChildLine deals with any issue which causes distress or concern – bullying, child abuse, parental separation or divorce, pregnancy and substance misuse.
Website: www.childline.org.uk
Call: 0800 1111 (24 hours)

Samaritans
‘It doesn’t matter who you are, how you feel, or what has happened. If you feel that things are getting to you, get in touch.’
Web: www.samaritans.org
Call:  08457 90 90 90 * (UK)

Bullying UK
Get advice and support about bullying whenever you need it
Website: www.bullying.co.uk
Call: 0808 800 2222

Selfharm.co.uk
Selfharm.co.uk is a project dedicated to supporting young people impacted by self-harm, providing a safe space to talk, ask any questions and be honest about what’s going on in your life.
Website: www.selfharm.co.uk

Mind
Mind believes no one should have to face a mental health problem alone. We’ll listen, give you support and advice, and fight your corner.’
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Call: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9.00am to 6.00pm)

Talk to Frank
Friendly, confidential drugs advice
Website: www.talktofrank.com
Call: 0800 77 66 00
Text: 82111

This is ABUSE
There are different forms of abuse, which you can find out about here, but if your relationship leaves you feeling scared, intimidated or controlled, it’s possible you’re in an abusive relationship. Find out more about the issue, have your say and seek help here.
Website: www.thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk

MindFull
MindFull is a brilliant new service for 11-17 year olds. It provides support, information and advice about mental health and emotional wellbeing
Website: www.mindfull.org

b-eat
B-eat provides helplines, online support and a network of UK-wide self-help groups to help adults and young people in the UK beat their eating disorders
Website: www.b-eat.co.uk
www.mypersonalbest.org.uk
Call: 08456 34 78 50

My Decision
A step by step guide for rape and sexual assault victims
Website: www.mydecision.co.uk